This is a collaborative Twitter project that my friend Tom Giddins and I are working on.
Everyone knows a couple like Miles & Tabitha, whether you want to or not. No seriously, you know the type – you’ve probably overheard them loudly discussing their Tuscan barn conversion in a cafe, or perhaps you gave them a blank stare when they asked you a vague, moronic question such as, “Is this pub organic?”
Essentially, they’re the kind of clueless privileged idiots who go on several Balinese holidays a year, but claim that their glowing complexions are down to bikram yoga and beetroot smoothies. Or something.
They come into the local pub late on a Sunday afternoon, and think it’s terrible that the drunks are giving their noisy brats filthy looks and even have the cheek to swear in the presence of their free range darlings! They’re about forty, live in Stoke Newington or Brighton, and still think that they’re devastatingly cool.
Trust me, you know them. Maybe you even identify with them a little bit? That’s okay, there’s no need to worry. On paper, they seem alright. They like going to galleries, they eat at great restaurants and maybe even enjoy some decent music too. That’s irrelevant though…it doesn’t eclipse the fact that they’re still wankers.